‘When Herod was the king of Judea, there was a Jewish priest named Zechariah…’ – Luke 1:1
The following is an excerpt from chapter one of my book, The Dawn from High: Advent Through the Eyes of Those Who Were There.
It is a terrible thing to lose one’s faith. I know because there was a time in my life when I had. Not entirely of course. In fact, my wife and I did our best to live as God taught in the Law of Moses. Had I lived in your day, I would have been the guy who went to church every Sunday, believed every line in the Apostle’s Creed, and drove around with the outline of a fish on my car. But for all that, I had lost my faith. I knew God could do amazing things. I just didn’t think he would. I guess you could say I was a functional atheist. I believed, but at the same time, I didn’t BELIEVE.
My problem was caused by two things. First, the silence of God in the face of my people’s oppression. The Romans ruled over us with an iron fist, taxing us, enslaving us, and defiling the land with their pagan ways. Through the prophets of old the Lord had promised a deliverer, the Messiah, but he sure was taking his time about it. It had been centuries since that promise had been made, and so, while I never ceased to believe God would keep it, I didn’t expect that to happen in my lifetime. I simply did not believe I would live to see the day of his appearing. Perhaps sometime in the future, in the lifetime of my son…
That was the second reason I had lost faith. My wife and I had kept the Law. We loved the Lord with all our hearts, souls, minds and strength. But the deepest prayer of our lives, the prayer for a child, had gone unanswered. Well, that’s not entirely correct. It seemed as if it had been answered, and the answer was a big fat ‘No.’ It was the heartache of our lives, though we did our best to conceal it. Everyone saw us as so righteous and devout. It would never have done (or so we wrongly thought) to let people know we had feelings too. And so, while I believed in God’s promises, at the same time I didn’t. Sure, they were true. But not for Elizabeth and I.
But then one day God did something that restored my fragile faith. This is my story – the story of how God made me a believer again.
It was the proudest day of my career. I had been selected by lot to burn incense in the Holy Place of the Temple. This was an honor many priests never experienced, and yet another blessing I believed had passed me by, but there I was, chosen to perform this sacred act. I would come as close to the Most Holy Place, the place that once held the Ark of the Covenant, where God himself dwelled in the days of our ancestors, as a priest such as myself was permitted to go. Only the High Priest could go further, into the Holy of Holies, and that was only once a year on the Day of Atonement. I was to stand right outside that most sacred space and burn incense to the Lord. It was to be the greatest moment of my priestly career.
I made preparation and entered the sanctuary of the Lord. Before me stood the altar, behind it, the curtain that separated me from the Most Holy Place. I had chills. I could hardly believe I was there. With shaking hands I presented the offering. I was so nervous I honestly don’t know how I got through it, but somehow I did. I then prostrated myself before the altar, offered a prayer for the salvation of Israel and, still quivering, rose to leave.
Only I didn’t leave. Because that’s when I saw something I never expected to see.
It was an angel. I wish I could describe what he looked like, but honestly I can’t. All I can tell you is that he was both beautiful and terrifying. Thinking back on the experience, I can only chuckle at the fact that I had been standing as close to the presence of God as I had ever hoped to come, and yet was surprised to encounter the supernatural. Like I said, I was a functional atheist. But I wasn’t chuckling then. I was terrified. So there I was, shaking like a baby’s rattle, when just as suddenly as the angel appeared, he spoke.
‘Do not fear Zechariah, for your prayer has been heard!’ My heart nearly seized up when he said that, for I had just prayed for Israel’s salvation, for her deliverance from Rome. That alone was the greatest news I had ever heard. But deep within me, another thought competed for prominence: the thought that perhaps he was referring to my other prayer, the one my wife and I had offered so many times. I was no longer sure which of the two prayers he meant, but either one being answered would have been enough for me.
That’s when the angel really bowled me over.
‘Your wife Elizabeth will have a son, and you will name him John! You will be filled with great joy, as will others at the news of his birth. He will be great in God’s sight, and will be filled with the Holy Spirit. Indeed, he will bear the spirit and power of Elijah, and he will turn the hearts of Israel back to God. And he will clear the way for the coming of God’s Messiah!’
O Sovereign Lord! How easy it is for me now to thank you for what the angel said then! Not only did you give me a son, but you made him the one to prepare the way for your Messiah! Every reason I ever had not to believe had been dispelled in that moment. Not only could you do great things, but you were doing them! And you were doing them through the likes of me!
But alas, at the time, after so many years of not truly believing, I didn’t say anything like that. I said something else. Now please, before you judge me, put yourself in my shoes. My wife and I were hardly spring chickens. Sure, I knew about the story of Abraham and Sarah, and the miraculous birth of Isaac, but that had been a long time ago. And so, as I tried to get my mind around the angel’s words, I blurted out the dumbest thing I ever said in my life.
‘How can I know this will happen? I’m too old to have children, and my wife’s right up there with me. How can I be sure you are telling me the truth?’ Such a reasonable thing to say, don’t you think? So rational. So well grounded in fact. It was an entirely logical question to ask.
It was also utterly dismissive of the power of God.
The angel certainly thought so. He seemed to grow in size, beauty, and terror as he spoke: ‘I am Gabriel! The messenger of God! I have brought you good news, the greatest of all, and all you can say is that you’re too old! Well let me tell you ‘Mr. Too Old,’ I stand in the very throne room of God. And if you did that for even one minute, you would not dare question what God can do. But since you have asked for a sign, I will give you one. My words will be fulfilled in their time, but until they are, you will not be able to speak!’
I was struck dumb in an instant. I tried to respond but could not. But the punishment was fitting. I had been a priest for so long, but I had been all talk. When the chips came down, I did not believe. The angel’s punishment was fair, and which is more, redemptive, for over the next nine months, I would have ample opportunity to quietly watch, learn, ponder, and pray as I rediscovered what it meant to believe…
For the rest of Zechariah’s story, and to hear other perspectives on Advent through the eyes of Mary, Joseph, a Shepherd, Simeon, Anna, Herod and Gabriel, click here to check out my book The Dawn from On High.
Under Christ’s Mercy,
Brent
Photo courtesy of Levi Bare on Unsplash.