I’ve been trying to get down to the heart of the matter, but my will gets weak, and my thoughts seem to scatter – but I think it’s about forgiveness.
Don Henley
This past Sunday, I preached a sermon on forgiveness. The local church I serve has been studying the Apostle’s Creed and we had come to the line: ‘we believe in the forgiveness of sins.’ The timing was perfect, as the topic of forgiveness had been in the news quite a bit the previous two weeks. There had been a debate raging over whether, in certain circumstances, it is ever appropriate to forgive (I will touch on the cause of that debate near the end of this post). For me, the answer to that was easy. Forgiveness, for the follower of Jesus, is simply not an option. And so, I shared with the congregation four reasons why I believe this to be so. Even now, post-sermon, I still feel the need to share my thoughts about it. And so in this post I will. Readers who were in the service this Sunday will find nothing new here. I encourage you to read it anyway, to let it really sink in, because for Christians, forgiveness truly is, as Don Henley says, ‘the heart of the matter.’ For everyone else, well, I present my thoughts to you in the hope that they will show you the importance of forgiveness as well, even when, and maybe especially when, it is difficult to extend.
First, followers of Jesus need to forgive because God is a God of forgiveness. We see this all over the Bible, in both the Old and New Testaments. Some people think God is rather unforgiving in the Old Testament. I remember an episode of Dharma and Greg in which Dharma described the Bible this way: ‘Old Testament – God is wrath. New Testamant – God is love.’ But God has always been a loving, forgiving God. People were always messing up in Old Testament times, from Abraham to David to Hezekiah to the nation of Israel as a whole, and God was always willing to forgive them, to separate their sins from them ‘as far as the east is from the west,’ and to cast them to the bottom of the ocean floor (Psalm 103:12; Micah 7:19). This is who God is, a pardoning God of chesed (steadfast) love. To be fair to Dharma, this became clearer once humankind was given the full revelation of God in Jesus. Jesus told stories like the Parable of the Prodigal Son. He forgave the woman caught in adultery. And he offered forgiveness to the entire world at the cross – even those who crucified him. Remember his words: ‘Father forgive them, they know not what they do.’ Don Henley sang, ‘I think it’s about forgiveness, even if you don’t love me.’ That’s the way God forgives. He forgives even those who spit upon and crucify him. That is a powerful reason to be forgiving. I mean, if God forgives like that, who do we think we are to do otherwise?
The second reason Jesus followers need to forgive is related: we have been forgiven. Jesus once told a story about a man who owed a debt he could not possibly pay (Matthew 18:21-35). He owed millions and he made minimum wage. At first, his master dealt with him as the world would: ordering that he and his family be sold into slavery. Isn’t that the way of the world? Instead of forgiving, you get even. But then, when the debtor begged for mercy, the Master relented, and decided to act like God. He not only revoked the prison sentence, he forgave the debt. But then the ungrateful little booger ran out and tossed someone else in prison for owing him a mere bag of shells. When the King found out, he called the man ‘an evil servant,’ pointed out his hypocrisy, and tossed him into jail. The story ends with one of the most ominous lines of scripture: ‘That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from the heart.’ Ouch. The lesson is clear: God has forgiven us for the things we have done. It is the height of ingratitude not to forgive others. God considers it a slap in the face. And so, followers of Jesus have no choice: we forgive others because we have been forgiven by God.
Now, I understand that if you aren’t a follower of Jesus, those first two reasons may not mean much to you. I would love for you to accept that there is a God who loves and forgives, and that you should forgive others out of gratitude for grace. But even if you aren’t sold on that, I really hope you will consider this: we need to forgive because to do otherwise is disastrous. Two parts here. First, when we fail to forgive, we bring disaster upon ourselves. Let me ask, when you refuse to forgive someone, who gets hurt most? That’s right. You do. Don Henley sang, ‘there are people in your life, who’ve come and gone. They’ve let you down. You know they’ve hurt your pride. You better put it all behind you baby, ’cause life moves on. If you keep carrying that anger, it will eat you up inside.’ Nelson Mandela famously said that harboring resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemies to die. You really don’t want to be one of those people who go through life nursing grudges, carrying bitterness and anger around in your heart. When you do that, you just allow the people who hurt you to go on hurting you. Lewis Smedes said that when you forgive, you set a prisoner free, and discover that the prisoner was you.
It is equally true that when we fail to forgive, we spread disaster all around us. Gandhi said, ‘an eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind.’ In his sermon, Loving your Enemies, Martin Luther King spoke of driving with his brother A.D. in Chatanooga. The oncoming drivers were refusing to dim their high beams. A.D. got fed up and said, ‘The next car that refuses to dim their lights, I’m going to fail to dim mine!’ Dr. King said, ‘Oh no! Don’t do that…it will end up in mutual destruction for all!’ He went on to explain that this was the trouble with history, that as people moved up the ‘highway of history,’ so many have looked at others who refused to dim the lights, and decided to refuse to dim theirs. He said that if somebody didn’t have enough sense to turn on the ‘dim and beautiful and powerful lights of love in the world,’ everyone would be destroyed. He ached for someone to have ‘sense enough and morality enough to cut off the chain of hate.’ This is another powerful reason to forgive: we need to forgive because forgiveness is the only thing that can break the chain of hate and replace it with the freedom to love.
Which takes me to the final reason why I believe we must forgive: because forgiveness is beautiful. It is here that we turn to the uproar that has recently taken place over the issue of forgiveness. By now, I am sure you have seen, or at least heard, of what happened at the sentencing of Amber Guyger, the white Dallas police officer who entered the wrong apartment and shot Botham Jean, an unarmed black man in his own home. It was a senseless tragedy that exacerbated racial tensions and fueled legitimate concerns about how dangerous it is to be black in America. As I pointed out to my congregation this past Sunday, if you don’t understand those concerns, it’s likely because you have been privileged enough not to have to think about them. No person of color, and no person of any color who loves a person of color, enjoys such a privilege.
At the sentencing, there were two important voices. The first was the voice of Allison Jean, Botham’s mother, who spoke of racial injustice, in both the case and the culture, and of the need to fight against such injustice. She is 100% right. There is great racial injustice in this country (and there was in that case) and we must find ways to deal with and overcome it. The second voice was Brandt Jean’s, Botham’s brother, and unless you’ve been living under a rock, you know what he did. He dimmed the lights. Tearfully, he forgave his brother’s killer. He told her that he loved her and that he wanted what was best for her. That he hoped she’d give her life to Christ. And then, he asked if he could give her a hug. The judge said yes, and as he stepped down and moved toward her, her brother’s killer ran into his arms.
Some people didn’t like that. They said Brandt didn’t have the right to do it. That forgiveness was being exalted over justice. Now let me be clear: justice matters, and the way the story broke did suggest that for some, it didn’t (it took several days for anyone to pay serious attention to the words of Allison Jean). And sadly, there are some whites who will use Brandt’s willingness to forgive as an excuse to ignore racial injustice entirely. They should be ashamed of themselves. That anyone did and will react that way to the embrace in that courtroom only proves that the fight for justice is far from over, and that we all have work to do.
But as followers of Jesus, how can we not rejoice at the sight of grace? Of course we need to work for justice. But we are still people of forgiveness. Because forgiveness is beautiful.
And you know what? It is also powerful. An eye for an eye will make the world blind. But forgiveness and enemy love, well, listen to Frederick Buechner: ‘the love for equals is a human thing – of friend for friend, brother for brother. It is to love what is loving and lovely. The world smiles. The love for the less fortunate is a beautiful thing – the love for those who suffer, for those who are poor, the sick, the failures, the unlovely. This is compassion, and it touches the heart of the world. The love for the more fortunate is a rare thing – to love those who succeed where we fail, to rejoice without envy with those who rejoice, the love of the poor for the rich, of the black man for the white man. The world is always bewildered by its saints. And then there is the love for the enemy – love for the one who does not love you but mocks, threatens and inflicts pain. The tortured’s love for the torturer. This is God’s love. It conquers the world.’
The world will continue to debate the embrace between Amber Guyger and Brandt Jean. Many will never understand it. But when I think about so much of what plagues our world today, and struggle to get down to the heart of the matter, of what will really make a difference, I think it’s about forgiveness. And I say that not just because Don Henley thinks so. I say it because Jesus thinks so. Followers of Jesus believe in a lot of things, justice included. But we can never forget that we also believe in the forgiveness of sins.
Under Christ’s Mercy,
Brent
Don Henley quotes are taken from his song, The Heart of the Matter.
Martin Luther King quotes taken from his sermon, Loving Your Enemies.
Frederick Buchner quote is from his book, The Magnificent Defeat.